shuttling between faith and doubt

i think i'm generally a happy soul. i mean, i'm always in a good mood most days. but there are times where i see/hear something that affects me and i read too much into it, driving myself crazy just thinking about it. this is especially true when i step into a relationship. this sense of doubt never fails to arise in me, maybe because of things that i have been through. i have been lied to in the face, been cheated on without me knowing etc. sometimes, i feel that i'm better off alone.

updates

i haven't updated in months. been busy with work and a new relationship. he came along very unexpectedly. there has been ups and downs these few months. i really don't know whether he's THE ONE yet. there's still so much that we don't know about each other. i guess only time will tell.

meanwhile, i've been trying to better myself as a person, making small changes in my life. maybe the changes might not be visible now, but hey, i'm like a ship on the ocean. a one degree change in direction will change where i end up.