selling icecream

sometimes i feel that i'll rather be a hermit and hide in a cave in the hills where no one can find me. this world is just getting too complicated.

i've been misunderstood too many times, even by my own agents. a lot of people think i'm a coldhearted and conniving bitch and that i sleep around and i don't even want to mention the worse things i have heard. most of the time, i hold my head up high and ignore what they say. but sometimes, i just can't take it and i retreat into my own little world to heal. they don't know that i'm just a girl who cries when i'm watching E.T.

in this life, i've had a big love and a big crush. my big love ended when i was 24, because of lies and my refusal to forgive. we used to have all these dreams, which were never fulfilled. now he is married to someone else, something which i could have stopped, but never did, because of my pride. the big crush lasted more than a decade. i really do not know whether he still has an effect on me now cos i've not seen him for such a long time. but seriously, this is better kept as a memory. memories are the most beautiful and ignorance is bliss. i have no idea how he is like as a person. better to keep it that way. i just don't wanna know.

i think i wanna sell icecream when i grow up. at least i know that when people buy icecream from me, they are happy.